I mean, not financially, but in so many other ways. I have to strongly recommend the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It was recommended to me by an instructor at Mind Body Barre, where I have been attending classes 2-4 times a week for two months, and is mandatory reading for all of their instructors. This is the first time I have taken any type of "gym" class, and the MBB studio immediately welcomed me. It is full of beautiful, positive, amazing women. Between the book, the barre classes, and therapy, my life is changing. I feel it. And it is surreal.
If you know me, you know how negative I can be. I have always believed that life just liked shitting on me. I couldn't understand why. Although a Jew/Atheist, I would often comment that God hated me. I was a good person - why did bad things always happen to me? Why couldn't I ever win? I'm learning now that it was my own fault. The negativity I put out into the world is simply what I was receiving back. People told me that. People close to me said to think positive thoughts. I thought they were full of shit. I thought I would never be able to do that. I thought I was destined to be negative and to have a miserable life. But I was wrong. I know I sound preachy. Granola-crunchy. And I can't believe the things coming out of my mouth. BUT POSITIVITY PAYS. It really really does. Since I have begun my self-care journey and worked on my positivity, my life has turned around. I assert myself at work and don't face repercussions for it. Can you believe it? I can act and be treated like an adult. Amazing. (Well, yeah, I'm still going to be sarcastic, I'll never lose that). I can tell family members no and not feel like a jerk. You know why? Because I'm a good person and do good, helpful things, and it's okay for me to set boundaries so I don't lose myself. It's all okay. Do I wish I had realized these things sooner? Hell yes. But I wasn't ready. Even now, I am still changing, growing, becoming better. I read some of Louise Hay's book and think, "yeah, that's amazingly accurate" and then I read other parts and think, "I'd love to buy into this, but I'm just not there yet." And that's okay, too! Acknowledgement: I just registered for the 2018 Muse & Marketplace and am beyond excited. Please let me know if you are also attending! Affirmation: Even though I am working on being the best possible me, I am already perfectly imperfect the way I am. Gratitude: I am forever grateful for my best-friend, who is on this torturous ride of anxiety with me, and holds my hand along the way.
2 Comments
Christine Emmons
12/1/2017 02:46:34 pm
Aw. I am so proud of how far you have come in such a short time. You are rubbing off on me in only good ways. This is so new for us, I am so grateful to hold your hand. We will keep fighting the good fight, one step, one adventure, one day at a time!!!! Yay #adulting!!! 👏😉💖
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Hope Haines
12/1/2017 02:57:22 pm
So proud of you ladies. You’re figuring out what took me 43 years to figure out. Always fight the good fight. It’s so worth it. Positivity breeds positivity. Remember.... we either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. - Carlos Castaneda
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